VH1 on your day off is comedically orgasmic.....

Hello New World.....The Realest Shit i ever wrote

The realest shit i ever wrote.....


I am no longer going by Fall4ronluv.....I am officially Regular Ass Ronnie.

I am done obsessing about the concept of love....Im onto obsessing about life.

I am NOT voting....I repeat I am NOT voting....Hate Me...Call me uneducated, unpatriotic, whatever you will....this election has too many things associated with it that i do not agree with philosophically...Ask me and I will tell you....

I am still on my quest to become a minimalist.

I have listened to "Hello New World" by The Clipse 17 times today....And i am still not tired of it.


"The Machine" is so corrupt.

I believe in God and I am a Christian.....

I am more conscious now than i have ever been.

I am saying "Yes" to everything from this point forward.

I fear nothing….so my new train of thought is yes to everything. I cant keep saying no all my life…....I would rather be defined by the things that i do, rather than the things that i dont do. I have become a prisoner to my socially imposed standards.

I have been convincing everyone else to just be the person they are meant to be…while the whole time im trying to be something to prove that im not what I am. I love texting on my phone, I love being busy and borderline unavailable to everyone, I love having women friends, I love taking pictures that don’t include my face, I love diet green tea from WaWa, I love the feeling I have right now…, I love that I don’t really care about my "cool" image any more, I love that I am always trying to lose weight hahaha….but im bigger than your average, I love that I have a small circle of friends, I love that I want more friends than I know what to do with, I love the smell of white girl hair, I love that I am blacker than the dude from blood diamond and have more white friends per capita than Barack Obama, I love being anti cool, I love the smell of black and mild cigar smoke, I love my neighbors family, I love emo kids….they just need a hug, I love hugging new people I meet and I don’t remember any of their names, I love that I am at a loss for words for the first time in months, I love the days when my phone doesn’t go off, it makes the days when its hard to respond to everyone that much better….im so lovey dovey right now…im texting everyone I haven’t talked to in a while and just telling them I love them…
Wish me luck…
ummmm
Im gone for a while.....

ToTo is the Shitttttt

Insomniatic Chronicles.....pt. 3

Umm im actually going to go in for a minute since I am awake and I have various thoughts of randomness going through my head.

1. Some people only have top floors. I cant expect that everyone will “get” me or even possess the desire to.
2. I really dig chicks that go left when everyone else goes right.
3. Gradually becoming a minimalist.
4. Body Language is more important than the words you say…I gotta master that shit.
5. Im sure if I was more focused and not looking forward to watching “Newsies” I would write more…

Inside the Actors Studio

It's Just Comedy

I'm a Blogger have we met?

Starving Artist thoughts 10/12/08:

1. I need a vacation....bad...like one of the vacations where you turn your phone off for a week and watch the madness that takes place.

2. I go to the movies by myself way too much.

3. I'm in a movie right now with 13 yr olds smh.....

4. There is no way this is a PG 13 movie.....this is a sham hahahaha....New movie co-sign: "Nick & Norah's Infinite playlist"

5. The world isn't that bad....

6. Ummmm my live blogging skills are suspect lol

7. Its a sunday afternoon and I'm not at home watching football....my bad

Allow me to introduce you to myself

Please pardon my creativity.....
In my mind my conflict seems to be never ending....Props to a certain person for pinpointing the source of my instability. Yessssss. I am emotionally unavailable and artistically tormented. Ironically as i delve into this seemingly endless realm of introverted self discovery, i realize that i am complex yet so simplistic.
I like Reese's Puff Cereal
I like watching Tina Turner on Youtube


I like text messaging between the hours of 11 am and 12 am (if you text message me after 12 am...im saying some freaky fresh out of prison shit and I expect pop tarts in the morning), if I talk to you I like you (that answers a bunch of questions)

I hate strip-clubs

And lastly I have the traces of commitment anxiety (the reason why i never plan to do anything)....now that you know me...

On more than one occasion I have been asked why I don’t have a girlfriend/significant other or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Understand the man that I am and understand the position I am in. The entire concept of being single in today’s society is absolutely bullshit. Again please excuse my artistic torment. Men are impatient; women are predictably unpredictable and both of us are rarely on the same page. So to answer the question without going off on one of my circle talking rants, “I am emotionally unavailable so as to ensure that the future object of my affection will be guaranteed an emotionally stable counterpart whose self awareness will never be compromised based on HER sense of self”. Wow that was a mouthful….lol. Why is it that as soon as men become interested in a woman and put her in the category of “more than physical attraction”; they immediately begin to change their demeanor? Men are emotional bastards I tell you. I was talking with my purely platonic friend about this and it was blatantly evident what the issue is…..( I hope she doesn’t get mad)

Being an attractive woman she easily gets “things” from men. Whether it be attention, drinks, more attention, dinners, feelings….all that. The funny thing is….all she wants in a man is someone who is emotionally mature and just a man. Not an asshole, not a kid……just a man. Now that the comedic element has been addressed the irony of the situation is that real men are harder to come by than a black person who hasn’t heard of Barack the Bomber. I guess all this relates to me, because I am clearly and borderline blatantly not looking to get back into a relationship right now. Not as the result of any traumatic past experiences (Im lying my ass off), but mainly because I need to focus on growing as a man. I wish I could front and say I have this, that and the third, but I don’t. My goal is not to be a ladies man in the sense of having multiple superficial relationships with women who are basically strangers. My goal is to be a man who can confidently explain the essence of manhood to a woman through my demeanor, my actions and my character. (These soap boxes suck….) So my emotional unavailability is not some sort of ploy to prove a point. I profess my unavailability until I can vibe with you mentally. I won’t even consider you physically until I am convinced that I can feel your essence in my mind. The most beautiful part of a woman is not her body, or the fact that she is “thick like duck butter” or that she “has cakes”…..yall ninjas come up with some asinine shit hahaha. The most appealing aspect of a woman is whether I can connect with her mind. Come on, how else am I going to give her a mental orgasm? As I stated a couple of entries ago, I am no longer obsessing over my past relationships or situations. I am making a consorted effort to include those people who are important to me whether mentally, emotionally, socially or physically in my life from this point forward. So calm down…..all of you are ok…If I talk to you…I like you….Its a celebration….my emotional unavailability will be the new catch phrase for every dude who wants to be “mysterious” to women….while I am just artistically tormented lol.



Please comment....."keep in mind that i'm an artist and im sensitive about my shit"

My life in a nutshell......Love Lockdown Video

I have never been one to completely identify with anyone's artistic depiction as it relates to my life....but this is the closest thing to it.

props to Worldstarhiphop.com

Insomniatic Chronicles.....pt. 2

Okay follow me.....12:32 am

I recently watched a special on Marvin Gaye and received inspiration nearly beyond explanation. Marvin Gaye grew up in an extremely religious family and had to deal with the internal struggle of being an artist, a man and the journey of life. Here we go…..As a preface I guess this is really the point of no return, but it’s my mind and I can do with it as I choose. This is my attempt to really express the reason why i am the person that i am…… (Before the man). Going in….

After this entry I will most undoubtedly need to drift into a form of obscurity so as to not realize how potentially vulnerable I am making myself. I have an internal struggle that will never be understood until the day my life finally has some form of settlement. Probably going to re-write that but ill keep it for the time being. When people see me; I often appear to be disenchanted with my surroundings. I don’t give off the feeling that life is something that has disappointed me by any stretch of the imagination. However, I feel like I have seen more in my life than my eyes have even processed. Almost like I feel older than 25. Its weird how this entry is unfolding. I feel like I am running out of time. I know I have always preached to whoever will listen that the world is a mess. I really feel like my life is running a course much different than anyone will truly understand. Its so complicated that the only way I can even keep some semblance of my sanity is to always get my thoughts out. My original intent for this entry was to explain the conflict I have internally with my sexuality and my personality. For those who are at all perplexed. Marvin Gaye dealt with the same issue…..whatever. Now I feel like as a man I really need to grasp the premise that my life is beyond my control. I have had my hands on the steering wheel for too many years and I can’t even pinpoint the time or circumstance that made me grab control and feel like I was invincible. It was possibly the moment when I became the myth and fed into my own mystique…….I don’t want to talk in circles, so let me be blunt and stop saying what I feel, but what I know.I know the reason why I focus on the things I do. I know that I try to find people to cosign my thoughts; but the thoughts I have given are legitimately watered down so as not to offend. I know at this point I am professing the truth to me with no care as to who I offend.



The reason why I have held up a wall between myself and the people in my life is because I know what lies ahead. I know I am a stranger in this world because I have no desire to be a permanent fixture. I go to bars when I don’t drink, I go to restaurants when I’m not hungry and I engage in conversations when I have nothing to say. I have delved into a realm of superficial in order to blend in. Fuck it….I no longer want any part of it. The reason I go to bar’s is because I need social engagement to take my mind off my reality as a person alone. I am not lonely so don’t feel sorry for me. I am not alone in the sense that I don’t have a female to actualize my manhood or my physical desire to be with someone. I am not physically alone. I am alone in the sense that I have a mission which will never be complete. I am alone in the sense that I try to prove to people that I am normal. I like to have fun. I can blend in. I can be like everyone else. But…..I am not. That’s why I am alone. That is why I appear to be on another planet and disenchanted. I have given so much of my time to things of irrelevance that I owe things of importance more attention than time can afford. There are no longer any secrets, walls or mysteries.I am no longer apologizing for the path which I have been destined to travel. It sucks to even think about it, but no one can even go with me. I am sitting here in disappointment, because I know for a fact there is one person that no matter what happens will always be committed to go on my journey with me and it will never be. It will make sense in a moment bear with me. My journey will lead me down a path which will never be understood by anyone else. Have no fear or discomfort. Our journeys although all different; will cross someones path, be reliant upon someones influence or become the inspiration for someones individual journey all together. Basically, my journey represents my life and I have to live my life since it was giving to me to nourish and be responsible for. You were given your life and must do with it the same.
For a while I have been on an unofficial/half-assed quest to find traveling partners who would cosign whichever portion of my journey I was giving my focus. I have entered the part of my journey where I am beyond the mere physical cosigners.
In my discovery of Luv, I realized that my sexuality is a large portion of my existence. So at the point in my journey when I needed to embrace it, I found cosigners who I know traveled with me for that reason alone. It’s a harsh reality but the honest truth. When I discovered that a larger aspect of my being was my mental fortitude; the more I began to embrace my mind. I suppose the irony in the situation is that through it all my sexuality was never neglected and has still had time to be selfish, time to grow and now time to mature. With that being said, I deviated from traveling further in my overall journey to satisfy my physical thirst for women in my sexuality...I have spent so much time studying, obsessing and appreciating women that i became addicted….if that makes any sense? I guess it does in my mind....but whatever. The comedic interjection is that for me it was never about sex…..the entire concept of a woman was so appealing to me. I relished my understanding of female emotional vulnerability and used my emotional stability as a way to be more attractive. I digress….All of us were born with an intent. It wasn’t by accident that we are at these positions in our lives. Along the way I have passed by so many interesting sights, sounds, faces and places….or personalities, notions (both preconceived and perceived) and attractions. It will make sense momentarily.
In my journey I stopped off at “pain, passion, principle and purpose paradise”, “el casa de sexual discovery, revolution and over indulging” and most recently “the cool school” all of which have taught me valuable lessons. There were times when I overstayed my welcome and times when I left something behind but won’t be able to go back. The marvelous disaster is that even though I can't go back, I can look forward to my next stop. I lingered at the cool school for so long that I kept missing my ride to the next destination, I became a towny, my traveling partners went on without me and I tried to be at home in a place full of permanent visitors. So, I am at the point where all my apologies have been said, all my intentions have been clarified and my journey has since continued. I am thankful to a certain degree that I have memories of each portion of my journey thus far. I just want to keep going. I don’t want to be a permanent visitor. I need to remain focused and continue to understand the overall purpose for MY journey. Yes, I realize that there will be times when I need to rest, times when my transportation lets me down and times when my load is heavy from all the stops for souvenirs. The light at the end of the tunnel is that we will always meet travelers along our road who have a purpose much similars to ours. So, although we cant go on MY journey together. We can go on our separate journeys and enjoy each others company on the same road. Trust me I am the best traveling partner…..if not at least for my sense of humor and never ending desire to play hide the finger, than for my impeccable harmonizing voice....I'm a crooner.



I figure 2 hours of writing is enough for now…..returning to my mind, packing up for my departure shortly and catching an episode of the office…

Luv.

I am a Lisfestyle Afficianado

I’ve discovered a new lifestyle which has the potential of being the breath of fresh air that I desperately needed. ….Shouts out… “The top feels so much better than the bottom” I want to and from this day forward will become my own variation of a minimalist. Every day I am adding one more thing to the ever-growing list of “Bad Habits to break” and eliminating one more thing from my “Bullshit-is-Endless” list. This isn’t another one of my endless rants on Life, Love and yada yada yada…..This actually has a point/purpose to give you more of a glimpse into the man that I am. Im bringing the deep dark chocolate/husky back….word to 1983-88 and 96-04
or as a point of reference…
"Boyz II Men"

"Cedric the Entertainer"
Ladies: This is most ineveitably what i will look like in 10 years...so get ready!



Soooooo…..to all you light skinned/caramel complexion/Al B. Sure.....

Kenny Burns

looking ass dudes...…your time is up…I’ll give you the rest of October to get your weight up and then when thanksgiving hits….its a wrap…go work out or some shit. I digress…. Back to my original intent.



“Bad Habits to Break”
Humms “Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.....”
I am officially and forthrightly adding ALL Fast Food chains to my “Bad Habits to break” list. It has been a great journey and countless memories of trips at 12:54 am to Wendy’s and getting “hooked up” with the left over nuggets, sammiches and biggie fries. But, the day has come to let you go. Chinese food; don’t get too uppity your ass is next….
Here is my ode to “Fast Food Row”…..anyone from New Castle, De knows what I mean.
Wendy’s, Arby’s, KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut (They have a drive thru….so they count), Burger King and the first 24 hour McDonalds I ever came across (They start serving breakfast at 4am…..just a heads up…No Chicken Select Strips after “A G-Chan Mission”)
All within a ½ mile radius….SMH…..these mo-fuckas have contributed to 3,000 heart attacks and countless chubby kids getting out first in dodgeball ........Summ ma Bicch…(sound it out folks) Again….i deviate....….this is truly the end of an era…
So count this as the day that Regular Ass Ronnie...…(that’s my new twist)….said goodbye and thank you very much to all fast food chains…......Im betting on myself that this lasts and If not; oh well “whatever, whatever I do what I want!!!”

“Bullshit is endless” list
I am officially downsizing my sneaker collection to 15-40 pairs lol. Seriously, I love sneakers and have been collecting for like 5 years and have basically held or owned every shoe that I admire…and if I haven’t gotten it or cant get it by trading “heat” than I don’t want it. This is my hobby and I will always check Hypebeast before I check CNN everyday….but it’s a recession and I need to pay off Sallie Motha Fuckin Mae and go back for my Master’s Degree among other things….and who knows one day im gonna buy my future girl one of these:
see I am cultured lol….i curse way too much but its not because I don’t possess a more robust vocabulary; its because I don’t give a shit about the standards in society…..I mean Sarah Palin would have been the teacher I made cry in high school for making her feel like a dumbass….and she is running for vice president…SMMFH…..for those not up on the Internet Slanguistics….. “Shaking My Motha Fuckin Head”…Sorry Jesus….what was I even talking about? Ummmm
Yeah Bullshit is endless….shouts out to Nerdatcooltable and the countless AIM conversations we have had about the Bullshit in this world…namely slams, scummies, wifey’s and the Infamous Twinkle....My tribute to the originator: Please Click on the Pic
Immmmm Gone….