My Unapolgetic Year in Review......Intellectual Ignorance

Life is more than Rap Music, Crazy Women and Chicken Wings....I represent the intelligent ignorance associated with everything that happens on a daily basis.

Im searching for the right type of music to put me in the frame of mind to sum up my entire year in words and or pictures…..DJ Big Ant seems the most fitting…..

The Journey from Fall4ronluv to Regular Ass Ronnie: Bullshit, Life, Women, Music and Fashion

Bullshit: Fuckery and Nonsense; I have been involved in 27,564 text messages to date (that’s an average of 75 per day) and I have nothing to show for it; I spent $1500 on a beach house that I visited 3 or 4 times and engaged in the most niggerish activities Dewey Beach has ever seen. I brought the formerly known Goonies down to the Republican Rendezvous and probably made sure that no black man will ever be allowed into the house ever again. Thanks to NerdAtTheCooltable. End of year quote towards Bullshit: “Bullshit is endless and my attention span will forever be grateful”


Life: I have gotten more tattoos than I ever intended. I have slept an average of 3-4 hours per night because my brain never stops moving a thousand miles a minute. I am not a deep person, I just think more complexly than the average man. I don’t care about anything unless it directly impacts my day to day. The best conversation I have had to date in 2008 was with my homey Cubanbee for 3 ½ hours while driving to New York on a whim. I spent an entire year trying to gather the right concept on how to describe the life we are given. This is what I came up with: “At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what you have done or what you have accomplished. God gave you something that never has to be questioned, just appreciated and taken care of”

Women: I devoted about 8 months of blog entries to women I have hated, women I loved and women who caused me to have some form of opinion towards them. I intellectually emo-blogged more times than I would care to recount. I am consistently inconsistent and very unpredictable which makes me the most mysterious man alive but the worst boyfriend. I am leaving this attribute behind in 2008. Fuck Commitment Anxiety and Bitch Fits……I am not contacting any woman I met in 2008 unless they contact me. End of year quote towards Women: “The greatest thing I have learned in life; is women are different from girls and women are the greatest gift God ever gave to men.”

Music: Albums of the year…..I literally only listen to 4 artists at the most and Max B every now and again…

Wale! Mixtape About Nothing

Zo! And Tigallo Love the 80’s


Joe Budden Mood Music 3

Kanye West 808 and Heartbreaks


Singles of the Year……I only hear this shit when im in a bar.

Shawty Lo- They Know- L O. L O.

Ryan Leslie- Addiction-

Rick Ross- Speedin-Every dollar that I count can’t go in my account

Ron Browz- PoP Champagne….this shit is huge in London

I listened to more music this year than I ever have and my I-Pod has changed my life.

Fashion:
I honestly don’t care what another man wears anymore…..This recession shit will excuse niggas wearing everything except fake jordans….If I see anyone wearing some exclusive shit (that Jordan cant even get)…..im gonna lose my cool.


Im ending this now…because the new years eve texts are flooding my inbox……
I would shock the world if I just went to church and turned off my phone.

Im leaving procrastination in 2008

Okay.....im getting straight to the point on this post. Shout out to C-Dot for giving me some form of motivation to actually post pics of my London Journey.....
So on my day off, my neighbor hit me up at 9:30 this morning to finish shooting our video on life inside New Castle. Word to people still wearing ridiculously oversized white t-shirts from the china man store. I just got back to the crib after going to lunch with my family for my birthday (January 1st....shameless plug.) My current state of sickness/non-sickness has caused me to take outrageous amounts of generic allergy medicine in an effort to feel well enough to celebrate New Years eve and not sniffle the night away. So the debate between watching the entire 6th season of King of Queens and blogging on my day off came and went...i decided to do both half assed.


My London Adventure
London was amazing.....I didnt see one tourist attraction. I didnt go shopping for anyone really. I only purchased one pair of jeans, one pair of sneakers and i broke my chinese food and fast food strikes.....all in all, the only disappointing part of the whole trip.


Enough of my monologue....onto the pictures:

The Crew:

The Reading Material:
The Culinary Treats:
The Full length mirror mission:
The definition of heat:
The artist admiring his work:

The nightlife:
Me....behind Tyrone Biggums
Thick London Jawn:

Skinny London Jawn:
Internationally Heartless:
"Two years ago that shit was just plaid"....and homegirl in the top left corner told me "She doesn't like American Men"...they must have Doug Flutie types over in London too....SMH

Tourists' always have to take pictures:
I murdered my hat brim in one night....thats my man Mubi Ali...and Simone
I only put this picture up because i was lurking in the background

For more pics.....go here Trading Places

Untitled.....

Gnarls Barkley - New Music - More Music Videos

Nick Carey and Mariah Cannon

Today is friday (where did the week go?) and i may very well still publish a fashion friday blog.....but until then...this nonsense will have to suffice. For months, i have lurked the black gossip sites ie: Necolebitchie and Bossip and seen the swirlwind of Nick Carey and Mariah Cannon take the world by storm. I personally am an advocate of all types of interacial mingle-ings purely for the fact that there should never be a color barrier ever again...."My president is black, my lambo is blue and ill be god damned if my rims aint too"..... But there is something suspect going on with this situation and i just cant quite pinpoint it.
Exhibits A-D

Matching outfits, Timberland Boots, Oakley goggles and Coooooonery

I shall not speak on name tattoos.
This ninja is wearing size 12.5 timberland boots, with his jeans tucked, standing next to Mickey Mouse!



Oakley goggles......For Real?....wait For Real?
COOOOOONERY

Now i believe in love and all that....but this seems sooooo fake.

I dont believe in Santa Clause....I never had a chimney

In the spirit of the holiday season, whether it be Hanukkah, Christmas or Kwanzaa….i would like to toast to it all in the only way I know how. Before I raise my champagne glass and drink Egg Nog directly from the carton, I want to get all the formalities out of the way. For the people in relationships, for the people with side jawns, for the people who have multiple women that they are “familiar” with and have to buy presents for…..I feel for you. Shit, I feel bad for your pockets. As I have been roaming the mall this holiday season I haven’t been burdened with the thought of someone else’s gift list and I can finally see all the people that are stressed out and look like they need to take a good poop to ease the pressure. My only concern this month was getting Polo Undershirts and im still perplexed at how these things keep shrinking so much…..anyway. My toast to Christmas 2008!


5 things I Love about Christmas 2008

1. I love that WaWa will be open on Christmas Day….WaWa and Walmart are the 2 companys that are guaranteed to be recession proof.
2. I love that I don’t have to get dressed up and go to anyone’s house and have their family pretend to like me…..hahaha
3. I love that the Goonies had a reunion tour that lasted one weekend….Of course it was on some New Edition shit….Dudes came in their own cars, with their new crews and still beefing about shit that happened when the group was still on top. Of course one dude had to get emotional because his solo career didn’t bode too well. Bobby Brown ass nigga.
4. I love that I will appreciate this Christmas more because I’m international now.
5. I love Christmas 2008 because I don’t expect one gift and im cool with that.

5 things I Hate about Christmas 2008

1. I hate that I won’t be able to have any Sweet Potato Casserole……It would be super gangsta if I called my ex and asked if I could just have some left over Sweet Potato Casserole….Dont worry im not that desperate.
2. I hate that before I left for London I was convinced that I wanted to cut off all my loose ends. If I could do it all over again…..hmmmm
3. I hate that its Dec 24th…..and I can only think about Dec 31st and what im going to do to celebrate my birthday on January 1st….
4. I hate the fact that 808’s and Heartbreaks ruined Nov 24th-Dec 10th. I cant even listen to this shit anymore….Even though im listening to it as im blogging.
5. I hate that everybody is broke or wants to be broke or is on the verge of being broke and still stunting like its nothing. Although I would love an XBOX 360 to keep me in my house this frigid ass winter….Unless someone shows up on my doorstep with it, I will be roaming the streets in my pea coat asking everyone whats popping for the weekend…



My Favorite Christmas Related Movies......Watch at least one of
these:

To watch with the family

To watch with one of your many "friends"

To watch with your side jawn

To Watch with your girl....(London edition...hahaha)

To Watch just because 9/10 it will be on TV at somepoint

I'll buy you a drink if you make me laugh more than this...

Jumpin Out the Window dance

WOWWWWWW......
The most lazy attempt to come up with a song/dance combo.
I guarantee.....on all my nike's.....this shit will catch on too.....
Can't wait till someone tries this after 4 shots of Patron.

Fashion Friday

Fashion Friday……
In 100 words or less…..after my journey to London and seeing the mass amount of hipster’s (Highlighter color shirts, early 90’s inspired clothes with year 2000 something sneakers and the smell of Tommy Hilfiger Cologne)….Im taking it back to the basics.

Im Bringing Black Back…..Thats right…to balance out the ridiculous amounts of rainbow brightedness going on I am wearing nothing but Black or Gray for the rest of the year.
Allow me to Advocate these essentials on today’s Fashion Friday Blog.
Pictures speak a thousand words. Invest in something BLACK ASAP! Less than 100 words

Pea Coats: For the Thug (This nigga got on a Pea Coat with a Wife Beater...????)

Pea Coat for the 8-5 Corporate Thug (Never wants to be seen talking to other Black People)

Invest in Something Black.....

If you dont believe me.....Click on this picture and see how correct I am...Stubborn Asses

I tried....I tried to say everything I had to say in 100 words or less, but i need to vent. If i see one more dude wearing Button Ups like this is still 2004, I am fucking em up on sight. Stop wearing baggy button ups and shit. Jayz even gave up on that shit...Whoooo Lawd Have Mercy...you might as well be wearing a Southpole Turtleneck Sweater. Im Gone

Brand Spotlight......Adidas Skateboarding (Bj Betts Edition)

Hopefully impromptu Interview coming soon! Hopefully

My London London wanna go down

Finally.....I have touched down in London, England and i am officially international.....word to tight jeans, waxed chest hair and Starbucks on every corner. I will be live blogging from this place as often as i can to give the world a glimpse of the way these British mo'fuckas get down.

Its been a whirlwind since yesterday night. I arrived at my homey Cubanbee (Bj Betts) crib at 9:30 and have slept literally 2 hours since then...and i think its like 4 oclock now.....this international time is fucking me up. 5 events worth mentioning.

1. I met a girl on the plane who stole my seat. I could have easily let it slide and put my headphones in listen to countless Wale songs. I decided to flip into my international zone....we ended up talking about life, tattoo's, my view on women and movies....she agreed, and also the free spirit...Mission Accomplished, twinkle converted and my best friend in the world....my sidekick is dead (no international service) I gave her my number but she will never be able to get ahold of me...oh well.

2. Thanks to Cubanbee hook ups across the world, we got picked up in a Mercedes S500 and were stunting until i saw the 5 or 6 Bentleys being driven like they nothing.

3. Stopped at the Crooked Tounges office and got a chance to meet Russ...the owner, and the man who had the deepest sag i have ever seen on a person ever...picture Lyor Cohen but british and not afraid to cut a nigga....

4. I am fighting off going to sleep....this trip is going to change my life i can feel it....

5. Im International Bitches!!!!

Ridiculous Thoughts.....12/something or the other.....3:09 pm

1. I have been putting off my paper until the last possible moment...distracted by youtube video making, phone boning and remembering that i have 5 seasons of King of Queens downloaded onto my laptop that are far more interesting than any paper i could ever construct on the USA Patriot Act.....

2. I have gone through a ridiculous amount of text messages and its not even peak texting hour...

3. I leave in one more day and i haven't tracked down a suitcase, done laundry or anything constructive...

4. I saw that 4 Christmases movie and it was just OK....

5. I cant wait for this year to be over so i can finally have a reason to not remember all the time i devoted to bullshit....

Forget Sunday Football

Again I have contradicted myself…..not because I have returned to my addiction to the only constant in my life, but more so because I am back to my Sunday regroup at Borders…..I never really thought I would become a book store junky, but I am here every week and still haven’t said a word to the Lesbian couple that has been coming here for years. These women have been here every Sunday since I have been coming here, and they never talk to each other.... or that I have personally noticed. Sidetracked….So I am supposed to be completing a paper that was due last week and I have until Tuesday to complete it and I still haven’t started. I haven’t even picked out a topic…..I will figure something out and talk in circles for 4 pages and then finally get my point across in the last paragraph……Check the irony right now. As I am sidetracked, I am listening to “Sidetracked” by Joe Budden.
I have been engaged in the longest text conversation I think I have had in recent months. This thing has been going on for like 12 hours if not longer…grant it there was the small hiatus during the hours when I rested and paid no mind to anything other than my dreams; but after the halftime the conversation picked right back up. As much as this conversation was intended to cause me to actually take a stand and not leave anyone in limbo or a state of question, it did nothing but made me question the rules of engagement that all men try to live by. Simply put for those who hate to read my sentences twice…This conversation made me really think about man laws and how they are non-descript anymore.
Side note…..I hung out with a friend of mine that I lost contact with for 3 years and ironically it was all over a woman. As we were catching up for the first time in a while, it was evident that we both had gone down different paths in our lives. They had become more reserved yet more self aware and I had become more well…..regular in my own respect. I am not regular in the sense that I am just like everything I surround myself with, but I am regular because I don’t profess my insanity any longer. I am not crazy. I am unsettled like a mo’fo….but not crazy.
See this is my problem…I am so easily sidetracked!
I have been attempting to gather my thoughts for about 30 minutes and I haven’t accomplished anything other than 2 paragraphs of random ridiculousness. So the older gentleman who just sat down next to me was completely engrossed in his book with what appeared to be nude black/white photos in the most artistic interpretation possible and I paid no attention to it. Honestly as I glanced over at the pictures I couldn’t help but notice how creative they were. It was as if the women even though completely nude, were covered in an innocence which is rarely ever seen. Anyway…as I returned to my futile attempt to blog about my text conversation that is approaching its 13th hour, I noticed 3 girls that walked in and do not look like the typical Borders patron…..allow me to give you a mental picture. Ugg boots, hideous coach purses and school projects. Ohh and I forgot to mention frappuccino drinks and latte’s covered in whipped cream. I cant be mad at them….they look good as a mo’funka but I have a little bit of a weight problem and cant indulge in sugar saturated beverages without feeling a diabetic episode come about. As the trio begins to work on their project as I should; I notice a change in the demeanor of my neighbor. He is a middle aged white guy who is married….i always look at the left hand of every person I meet so I can make assumptions on their life based on their marital status….yeah I am obsessed with relationships I know. But I cant help but notice how my neighbor (ill refer to him as Mr. Democrat) is extremely interested in everything that I going on with the cast from Mean Girls….3 Brunettes with various amounts of blonde highlights. Its funny how I am people watching a people watcher. My boy Mr. Democrat is watching their every move and has given up on reading the book which in my opinion is way more interesting. I suppose Mr. Democrat caught himself paying too much attention to the girls with the pink cell phone covers and decided to go and find his wife of 20 years and see if she needs any help in the “How To: The Home Décor” section.
I am mad at myself that I don’t even know any of these people and I can already tell their entire life story. The woman who now occupies Mr. Democrats seat is an artist or designer of some sort….i can tell by her reading selections…a bunch of design books and she is actually looking at the pictures and examining them in the way a woman in a bar would dissect the man that is trying to “spit game” at her girl….from head to toe. Ironically…..Ms. Project Runway doesn’t have a ring on her finger and appears to be so career oriented that even if a man was interested in her at some point she would have passed him off as being a “man”…..you know the type….anyway its one o’clock and instead of blogging about life…I am going to go live it.

Im so easily sidetracked…..

Fashion Friday pt 3......SIKE

Inside my Ipod

The songs in rotation on my Ipod as told through the Friday Series…..Friday, Next Friday, Friday after Next and The Outtakes...

Friday

(If you are in my car…your chances of hearing one if not all of these songs is extremely high)

Slaughterhouse- Onslaught
Bonnie Tyler-Bright Eyes
Wale ft Duffy- The Other Warwick Avenue
The Outfield- Your Love
Kanye West- Heartless

Next Friday

(In spurts these are all my favorites)

Kanye West- Coldest Winter
Brother Ali ft Freeway- The Truth
T-Pain ft Chris Brown- Freeze
Gary Jules-Mad World
DJ Big Ant- HighSnobiety blog mix #1
Charles Hamilton ft Max B- North Pole

Joe Budden-Dear Angie

Friday After Next

(Perfect for a break from the expected)

Lil Wayne ft Rick Ross- Shot to the heart
Wale- Nike Boots
Little Brother- Whatever you say remix
Sean Paul- Deport Dem
Dj Drama ft Outkast-The Art of Storytelling pt 4
Robin Thicke- Im Lost Without you

The Outtakes

Word to 16" Silver Chains and dress shoes with shorts this shit is wack but you still have to love it...even just a little bit!

Yeah i know this is a recycled pic.....but i Love Silky Johnson...PAUSE. "Rosie O'Donell wears underwear with dickholes in them"

Soulja Boy-Kiss me thru the phone-Who is still listening to this ninja? I admit i was kind of digging the beat...but shhhhhh i am an angry blogger and i have to stay that way.

Beyonce-Single Ladies- Okay...i dig it...i get it...its Beyonce and she is this, that and the third...but this is slowly becoming the gay mans anthem...

Jazmine Sullivan-Bust your windows......WOW i mean WOW...seriously this song is scaring me because i have a feeling this will be on a bunch of girls myspace pages in 5....4...3....2...

Lil Wayne ft Bobby Valentino- Wee Ooo Wee Ooo Wee....Only in America

Dj Khaled ft Anyone....I hate damn near Every song he is on....Hate me all you want you tan silverback gorilla.....I hate you for the fact that you completely and unapolagetically try to talk "down"....but before you pass me off as another blogger with an opinion....hear out some quotables from this clown "I does this" "I am unity" "We the Best"...at what? Eating Buffalo Chicken Cheese Steaks?.....i cant even think of any other ones right now but feel free to add your own and tell him im hating....I wusssh a ninja would run up on me and say something. Im built for prison and a good boxing match!

Comment You Playa Hatin Muddasuckas!

60 Minutes

Another 60 minutes

I admit I am selfish. I admit I don’t care about anything that happens unless it directly impacts my day to day. Its wrong, its un-American and again I don’t care. I only find out about current events several days after they happen and usually through 2 sources; my best friend Dave or eavesdropping on coffee shop convos. So today, I wanted to prove to myself that I was able to be socially aware and conscious of the world around me. Just saying that gives me a headache.

Someone please tell me what the hell is going on in the seas of the Atlantic. These niggas are going crazy. Modern Day Pirates? What the Fuck? Seriously pardon my grammar, my English and all that….but this is ridiculous. If anyone has seen Pirates of The Caribbean, than you know what a pirate is supposed to look like.

But someone please tell me what the fuck are these malnourished ass niggas doing robbing big ass boats?.........ill wait!

The thing that made me scratch my head the most, wasn’t the modern day piracy. It wasn’t the fact that people try to steal shit all the time. I was perplexed that these niggas causing all this uproar weren’t even built for this shit. As a black man I can say that we have a bad history/uneasy feeling around water and boats. But these niggas spend days of their lives terrorizing people on boats and then make friends at the end of it all. I know they have guns and knives and all that…but im sure they are only doing this just because they are hungry and need the money. I can easily rectify and solve this problem...or i will just lose 100+ pounds to blend in with them and become a pirate myself.
1. Don’t let them on the boat. I mean These niggas are hijacking oil tankers and shit

…im not the smartest man in the world (although I am damn close), but it’s a matter of pure scientific fact….stop letting these niggas on the boat.


2. These niggas are grown men and probably weigh 135-150 lbs….i mean I would personally never be on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic caught up in some bullshit but I know for damn certain that I could take at least 2 ½ of these dudes at one time…PAUSE.




3. This story alone is the reason why I know the world is full of dumb people. I mean more power to these “pirates” aka Africans who got tired of getting chased by Lions…but this is ridiculous. This is also the one time I can be racists towards my own race. I had to laugh at this shit for the simple fact that up until today…I thought that pirates were white dudes who liked not showering and shit. But whatever…I am naive. (Click the Pic for the article)




4. I didn’t even provide a solution to the problem at all….but this is the reason why I probably don’t watch the news. This shit is a damn shame……a moment of silence for unruly Africans making the world headlines and still not scaring anyone but white people.

WoW I was on some Jesse Jackson shit there for a minute… “I want to cut his nuts off”

Nike Boots

from WaleMusic.com


Wale "Nike Boots" video (Directed by Chris Robinson) from Elitaste on Vimeo.

On the 7th Day....God created The Scummy

On the 7th day….God created The Scummy.
The Scummy is a part of the earth no matter how much we try to deny their existence.
We cant escape their presence and there are rules of engagement that you must follow so you don’t end up like the crocodile hunter getting stabbed in the heart.
5 rules about scummy’s as told by a man who has probably been scummied….SMH
First to clarify The Scummy I must explain what a scummy is. Scim Scam, Scally Wag, Skiddy Bop, Skeezer, Hood Booger, Smeez, Bus Down and not calling names…but if you act like Flutie…you are a scummy.
There are male and women scummies and I have been known to associate with them both…..PAUSE!
Male scummies are the best scummies, because they don’t leave any secrets to the imagination. Male Scummies..i will refer to as Benet’s (Look Up Eric Benet). Benet’s will always have an alternative….and rarely spend a night alone. Now…their standards aren’t very high, but they will always have “Cookies on Deck”….please no subliminals…
I wish at times I could be an Eric Benet ass dude…PAUSE. But I just cant bypass the fact that someone else I probably know has had homegirls legs behind her head and she may or may not have let them B their L on or around her mouth. But Benet’s are the most comedic men to ever see….they know no boundaries and have no lines that they will or will not cross for missions. I have a line that I wont cross and its within 25 miles of my house. These dudes will end up getting their heart broken….its a part of the circle of life.
Female Scummies….dont have an actual home. They live in or around Tru Sin. I secretly think that all promotion for Tru Sin is done at Iron Hill Apartments or Kimberton.
I rarely get mad at scummies except for when they either try to deny their roots or try to convince a man that they aren’t what they smell like, look like, act like or talk like.
All of which will be addressed…..
Scummies will make a man feel like a man and at the same time make you question why they have the power over you that they do. Scummies can easily persuade a man to spend his hard earned money on her for drinks all night and then she leave with a Flutie ass ninja. Scummies will have you looking over your shoulder when you are dancing with her because there is no telling who she has fuming in the corner because you are capitalizing on the $65 dollars he spent on her the weekend prior. Scummies have the smell of what I like to refer to as Britney Spears fresh out of the shower. This usually incorporates some form of body spray to hide the scent of cigarettes and or weed. Im not gonna front I can pick a scummy out by the perfume she wears, but its like the people that sell candy bars on the side of the road…as soon as you make eye contact with them it’s a wrap. Scummies look like they were extras in a Shea Davis rap video shoot….hahaha. The bad part is that there is a universal twinkle that scummies have but they come in various shapes and sizes….if she dances to she got a donk by Soulja Boy…she might be a scummy. If you haven’t been able to decipher what a scummy is by this point….look to their actions as the guide to live by. If she acts like she has been around one too many dudes and looks at you as her personal drink buyer for the night…she might be a scummy. If within the first 5 minutes of you meeting her she finishes her drink and says “I’m thirsty” she might be a summy….If she knows the words to more rap songs than you do….you guessed it….She might be a…._________fill in the blank.


Guess who's big ass head that is to the left? Dont hate.....Dont hate..it just means im smarter than you!haha

Okay….the rules
1. Don’t look her in the eyes….avoid eye contact at all costs because you will succumb to the scummy. Lord knows where you will end up and if you or your car will make it back in one piece.
2. Dont show her your car keys until you know she has her own car that another ninja isn’t following…stay away from chicks in Hondas….again…just making generalizations, but Scummy’s love foreign cars because their gas mileage affords them the ability to ride around for hours doing whatever it is that scummies do.
3. If she is wearing summer clothes in the winter because they are cute….she might be…you know the rest.
4. If she tells you she has kids…that’s not a big deal….but if she tells you something along the lines of her baby’s dad being a “crazy motherfucker” and you aren’t built to handle “crazy motherfuckers” leave immediately.
5. Don’t and I repeat….Dont try to wife, wine and dine or love lockdown a scummy. You can not claim what doesn’t belong to you. Scummies belong to the earth and are assigned to certain bars.


This is just the tip of the iceberg because I have yet to address old scummies and undercover scummies….neither are built for everyone and will have you bumping 808’s and heartbreaks the edited version. Funniest comment of the day from my homey Nerdatthecooltable….He said “You can’t relate to 808’s and heartbreaks because you sold your soul to whores” hahahaha…..you gotta have a heart to be heartless.

A day in the life....

As direct as I can be.
What is the world coming to? I will not stand here and say that the world is incredibly horrible, but there damn sure are things going on that perplex me endlessly. random thoughts that are in my head right now…..
I used to be a drawer when I was younger….well more of a doodler. At one point I was accepted to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, but obviously I never went. My representations are more cartoonish than realistic, but I digress….Im not incredibly good at drawing because I have a very short attention span. Long story short….Instead of going to class last week and learning about only God knows what, I decided to go to New York on a whim. My whims usually result in a chain of events that further distract me from my path towards whatever it is I am supposed to be doing in this lifetime. So since I missed class last week and neglected to check my syllabus or do the slightest amount of studying, I had no idea that I had a paper due yesterday. I got to class and I proceeded in my normal rituals on Tuesday morning….i opened my laptop, logged into twitter, logged into AIM and took horrible notes while people interjected wrong answers just to get their class participation grade (which I am POSITIVE I will not be receiving)…Class continues and there is this girl who I tried to hook my homeboy up with a few weeks back who walked into the class all late and wrong….there were about 4 people who randomly showed up an hour late and I should have known then that they knew something I didn’t. Break time comes and I hear chitter chatter about who got what on their midterm and who did their paper on what….Side note…In my head I was like….oh my Jesus….Im gonna have to pull the biggest caper to date to get out of this pickle…PAUSE!...So since I haven’t spoken to any person in my class, I am the weird guy who laughs at the teachers corny jokes and is always texting or checking World Star Hip Hop (right click and open in a new window) in the middle of class. I couldn’t just jump into someone else’s conversation and ask them what they were talking about. I eventually figured out that I was an ideate and should really pay attention to my priorities more…and that should not include Ping Pong, Flannel Shirt shopping or organizing my stolen movie torrent collection….all of which occupied my time Monday night when I should have looked at my damn syllabus. So back to my point…..ummmm….i doodle. Yeah….Class presentations which are incredibly horrible and almost unbearable to listen to were the next item on the agenda. I hate them for the simple fact that everyone who thinks they speak well in public suck. If I hear one more person say the word “like” a hundred times when they are giving a class presentation…Im Terry Tate’n them….Look Up Terry Tate.
Back to my point…so the girl I was trying to hook my homeboy up with was sitting across the room from me and she is the only female in my class who doesn’t look like she just had sex before coming to class, doesn’t look like her boyfriend drives a pickup truck and is a volunteer fireman and or doesn’t remind me of a McCain supporter. So I decided to draw her just for the hell of it….Im not about to draw the dude in my class…PAUSE. So as I get halfway into it and past the point of no return without feeling like I wasted 5 minutes of my life;……….she caught me staring at her and we made that awkward ass eye contact where we both linger for too long to pass it off as accidental and also its not too long to be weird. I was refusing to break away, but I had to…I had to look away and try to pretend like I wasn’t drawing a complete stranger who I haven’t said any words to yet I have had class with for 6 weeks…..well 5 technically. I could tell she was kind of creeped out because if you haven’t noticed…..you wouldn’t want me to look at you like you were a chicken and steak burrito w/queso from Moe’s
….So she and I had this little dancing of the eyes for about 30 minutes or so, because I was determined to finish my sketch and she was determined to catch me staring at her again…At the end of it all I half assed finished my drawing, because Danielle…that’s her name…don’t know her last…caught me 3 more times and I just gave up at that point. I even tried to act like I was looking at the wall above her head…wasn’t even close. I know that after these moments of intimacy, I am supposed to think that either she wants me, or that she wants me to grab her belt loop as she is walking out the door, but my name is not Doug Flutie. I let her leave in peace and with the thoughts in her head about the man in her class who stared at her and never said a word….

I know I have slacked on this blog thing for a while and the reason is not complex or on some up in the clouds shit….Ive just been unmotivated to say anything. I got a tattoo and that was sort of the most monumental thing I have done…but I have been to a rock show, I have been to the movies, I have gone to the Elkton Walmart and had the hottest Vanilla Chai that I think Dunkin Donuts is legally allowed to serve. All in All I have been living life instead of blogging about what I think it should be. I have the biggest caper in history in the process of being pulled off…so please pray for me. If everything goes according to planned…I am going to church new years eve to celebrate my birthday.